Showreel - March 2008

Stage6 RIP


I am actually a little sad about this one, for a variety of reasons. First, wtf am I on about? (a question that readers of this blog frequently ask themselves I would guess)


I recently discovered that Stage6 the DivX video sharing community has been shut down :(, for those that still don't understand, it was basically YouTube for DivX (a high quality video codec). Having known about DivX for a while, I've only recently come to enjoy the fruits it gives forth, it's actually a pretty good codec, comparable to h.264 and it's now become a staple in my list of standard playout formats.

Now don't get me wrong DivX is still going strong and will continue to, however the lack of a social networking site based on it, is a major bummer. I'd recently set up a profile on there to house my showreel and other stuff I'd been doing, but apart from that I'd been watching stuff on there for ages, why? Because quality wise it pisses all over the others.

And there was some pretty good content on there too! The usual amount of stuff that shouldn't really be on there (possibly one reason it's been shut down??), but also because of the higher res, other independent stuff apart from chavs with phones.

Anyway, I'll miss it for one, and although I need to investigate Veoh a bit more, as that's what they're sending people to now, the first video I tried to put on there wouldn't upload. Good start.

If there's one thing i'm not a fan of, it's cold calling.


Working in production you have to do a lot of it, so I've kinda got used to it, figured out how to talk to people, learned the skills of convincing people to take part in Programme X for Channel Y. But I still don't really enjoy it.

Welcome now to the world of being freelance. Now I have to call people to sell myself! rather than whatever programme I'm working on. That ain't fun!

What do I say? How am I supposed to pitch myself as a cam-op/editor when I've just done nearly three years researching? Of course I can operate and edit, but then I need to get in the door to prove that first!

It's also, because it's new territory, slightly difficult to know whether these calls are going good or not so good, obviously some you can just tell that they went shite, but some I don't know. I guess I need to suss out what, and how much,  information to give across and what to expect back.

So I guess this is a new chapter in the career world, and thus blogging one. A chapter that's been hinted at for a few months now, with the odd gig here and there, now it's full on, a new direction, more crazy adventures (um...), heartbreak and tragedy, romance and triumph... or am I just being a tad melodramatic?

I dunno, am I excited? Yes. Am I shitting myself? Yes. Still.. party on, this is it, so let's do this!

And again...

...and do they really need that damn siren going as well!?

I hate commuting

..well sometimes it's alright, but certain days suck.


..yay for Victoria, this was after they actually let us in, then, after deciding that the Victoria line was gonna be sick, I fought my way through to the District line (by the time I got to the platform I was listening to "Get In The Ring" possibly not the best thing to be listening to at times like this), was vacuum packed onto a train, made my way to Embankment to change to the Northern Line. All trains within the next 10 mins were going to Edgeware (I need High Barnet, the other side), not a huge problem, I'll just change or get off at Camden. Of course I fail to do that, and thus have to get off at Chalk Farm and then come back to Camden.

Oh and I had to stand (AGAIN!) from Burgess Hill to East Croydon, at least I got to sit down between Croydon and Victoria, it's not unheard of to have to stand all the way to London!

Every 7 seconds


GODDAMMIT!

Y'know, I like the BBC iPlayer, despite it's lack of Mac download support, it fits into my ever evolving viewing lifestyle, more on demand.

I can get home, pick a programme to watch, one that may have been on 5 days ago, but I was busy, and watch it, it's a good concept, which is surprising, cos I think most people thought it was gonna suck. The quality's not bad, on my 13" MacBook or Powermac's 19" CRT it looks ok, and I even plugged the MacBook into a 32" Sony Bravia, and to be fair, once you're sat back in a chair, it's not that much worse than the nasty artifact laden digital standard def.

However, there's issues.

The organisation of it could do with a little improvement, maybe top picks from each category on the front page rather than just 5 or 6 programmes from all that's available.

I haven't explored the whole RSS side of it yet, but then iPlayer appeals more to my impulse viewing side rather than the scheduled series, although if I can RSS an individual series, say The Choir so that I'm alerted to each new episode (much like a podcast) that would be handy I guess, depending on what you've got to handle the RSS at this end.

Downloads, ok still no d/l for Mac (or Linux), cos the Beeb loves Bill too much, but again, I'm not that fussed, this is more impulse, channel surfing, see what's on, and the downloads expire at the same time as everything else afaik, so there's no huge benefit there apart from...

Streaming. Oh good god. When it works, it's brilliant. The other 20 odd hours of the day it's a pain in the arse, especially if you're into a programme that you're watching then about 10 minutes in, it starts stalling, and you get this stupid twirly dots thing pop up EVERY SEVEN SECONDS! (yes I timed it). I don't want to have to shout CUNT at my screen every seven seconds, I'll become a geek with tourettes!
Please BBC for the love of god do something..

According to the iPlayer help page, under the streaming section...

"Why is my programme not playing smoothly?

If your network connection is not consistent, you may experience problems connecting – the video will pause and a circle will spin on your screen. You can check your connection speed at www.speedtest.net.

This link will take you to a website outside bbc.co.uk. The BBC is not responsible for content or software downloaded from external sites.

Check that your connection is not being shared with others that may be downloading or uploading files. Network traffic may also build at certain types of day, so you may wish to try later."


Uhuh. No.
  • I did the "speedtest", confirmed I'm running around 2Meg, not great, but it should cope.
  • "Network traffic", yes lag exists but..
  • "you may wish to try later", no I want to watch the programme now, I'm already watching it later than it was originally broadcast for Christ's sake!

I was gonna post something along these lines to the suggestions message board on their site, however you can only do that between 8am and 10pm, so that'll have to wait until tomorrow lunch or something.

Possible solutions...
  1. More servers? I'm not sure on how many they have, but I'm sure more would be better, I'm guessing YouTube has a fuck-ton more than the BBC.
  2. Larger buffer? Yeah, I think this one's a winner, I can wait a few more seconds for my programme to start if it means it won't cocking stop! So A larger buffer would be nice plus..
  3. Continued buffering while paused? Wait doesn't pretty much every other Flash player out there do this? YES! It appears that the iPlayer doesn't, there's no progress bar that I can see to indicate that it does, so why the cock not? I pause it, go grab a drink, by the time I get back it's well ahead, so even a bit of lag shouldn't affect my viewing pleasure.
Needless to say I'm a little irritated (not just by the now horribly cliched use of the 'i'), I want to like the iPlayer, I want to believe that I can bookmark it on a Mac Mini under my telly and use it on a regular basis, I want it to be part of the family, but right now I still have reservations about that certain look it has in it's eyes, that suggests that it may not be altogether there and if I invite it to stay, it may start rifling through my dirty washing looking for crumbs.

Only time will tell I guess (and whether I remember to post a polite version of this on the BBC message board), right now I'm gonna try to finish watching the rest of the programme about people getting it on in Second Life.

Hmm..

Ever have any of those times where you're plagued by indecision, uncertainty, doubt, lack of conviction etc, all topped of with a bit of a head cold.


I'm at one of those times at the moment, looking ahead, not sure on the path to take and all that and to be honest it's pissing me off and getting to me. I need to figure this shit out and soon!

I started out in all this with a clear idea and sense of direction, right now it's kinda like staggering though a misty bog at night, looking for the batteries to put in an oil lamp. Shit analogy but still...

I'm sure I'll figure things out soon, but right now I feel crappy.

Bosham


Disappointingly pronounced Bozzam, something I obviously refused to do all the time we were there.


It's an ok place, twas cold and wet and reminded me that I really do need to get those boots from Millets, but it's another day out to a random place and Vic was happy cos she got to feed ducks.

Unfortunatly I neglected to take my SLR with me and 
so was left with only the shiteness of my Nokia, so snapped a couple of pics and then sicked up on my phone out of spite.
Also working on a website idea, could be an interesting one, that may work on a small commercial scale, y'know, like 50p/quarter from ads or something. Stay tuned.

The end of another year

Well, December 31st has rolled around again, another year over and done with and a new one just about to start.


What of resolutions for 2008? Well I'm still working on mine, got a few hours left yet, to be honest, although I DESPERATELY need to sort my own place out again, that's quite a hefty challenge, so my resolution will probably be career orientated, well I don't smoke, don't drink and I've always been shit with money, so career it is.

Last (this) years? Can't remember, may have been to actually get a car, the previous year's was to sort my damn license out. Achieved (finally!) and crossed off (Dec 14th marked 1 year), I eventually got the car in July, thanks to some parental financial help, and have recently installed my new stereo ;)

I have some ideas for how the resolution will go, well I have some ideas and a vague to-do list for next year's career moves, just need the concise version for midnight.

2007's been an odd one, had some pretty good achievements and at the same time, things have maintained a reasonable status quo, so I think a bit more focus and stuff for 2008 is required to properly move things forward. Not that 07 was totally shite, I kept on the path I decided, it was just a bit of a slow one ;)

Anyway 2008 and Jools Holland are just around the corner, so on with the cheesy countdowns, watching others get wasted and crappy programmes that look back at the events of 2007.

Happy new year!!

Almost Christmas...

Floatel

Another camera gig, but with a twist...


Welcome to...

The Floatel!!!

Yes it's a hotel that floats. It's also shite.

So all the way up to Liverpool, well Nantwich (which I've just remembered is Greg's haunt, which I didn't remember at the time, sorry Greg) for the hotel then onto Liverpool.

Anyway check out these 'beauty' shots of my room, 'key' and view...


Apologies again for the shite quality, well Nokia apologises in spirit. How's me, sat waiting at Oxford services takes your fancy??


No well, Patrick and some kit then.



Anyway, twas a fun day, despite being a shite hotel and getting bugger all sleep the night before the shoot! Now I'm home an fucking knackered, so my bed and sleep beckons.

Oh yes, that's right I went to see Queens Of The Stone Age at Brighton Dome.

Were they awesome? Yes they were.
Did I suffer some permanent ear damage? Yes I think I did.
Was I disappointed that they didn't play Feel Good Hit Of The Summer? Yes I was.
Was I over the moon when they opened with Hanging Tree? Hell yeah!

Enjoy some shit photos from the shit camera on my Nokia.








Today I was seconded for a little jaunt up to Norfolk (or thereabouts at least) to film an interview with this guy for a BBC Worldwide thing. (Yes, that's pretty much all I knew/know)

All went pretty well, (his name's Richard West btw), the stuff, looks good, sounds good, or at least it did when I shot it, Tom (prod.) got everything he wanted, all cheers....

The guy has a Williams F1 car in is garage!

Basically, we were talking about teamwork in F1, he's worked for McClaren, Ferrari and Williams and now does management consulting.

The guy has a Williams F1 car in is garage!

so got back to the office at a reasonable time, I checked in with the production I'm actually on, then got out early so that I could get home to see Megs and give her, her present and card (as it's her 10th birthday), got a train that was a whole hour earlier than I usually get...what time to I get in??

Yes that's right, the SAME COCKING TIME AS USUAL!!!

The trains are a joke, a big shite joke and I hate them, I pay getting on for 4 pissing grand a year to ride the damn things and they can't even timetable them properly or get them to run to the damn timetables, I was late this morning and I was late this evening.

Bastards.

Still I touched a real F1 car in someone's garage today. :D


...then I'm working full tilt again, is there no nice middle ground?

So I'm back on Resource Review for a spell, the first batch is proving mildly stressful at the moment, with things coming right down to the wire (and possibly tripping over) thanks to some drop outs at the last minute.

Not all ICT stuff on this one, got a good mix, although to be fair, I'm probably looking forward to the ICT Hardware stuff most (although the "Green" and "Outdoor" progs should be interesting), but then that's the geek in me. And filming at Shakespeare's Globe was quite nice and Matthew got several rounds of applause from students of various nationalities for his 'performance' on stage.


Doing some more camera work, with stuff at Brook Lapping and also the odd freelance corporate gig, such as the trip to Bolton and on Sunday just gone was a job for Cancer Research UK for one of their 10K runs at Hampton Court Palace, the day for which started by filming some deer making their way out of the early morning mist, followed by copious amounts or runners and volunteers.

All in all an enjoyable day, although carrying the Z1+Tripod around on my shoulder all over the field, left me slightly bruised :/

The other thing the day confirmed for me was exactly how crap the camera on my Nokia 6630 actually is!!



Still...
WISPA'S ARE BACK AND HELL YEAH!!!

Bolton

Long old day yesterday, starting off for me at 4am, driving over to Tunbridge Wells for around 6, then up to Bolton for Lunchtime (thankfully I didn't have to drive that bit), do some filming and then back to Tunbridge Wells and drive home by about midnight. Wake up far too early this morning feeling like I'd been out on the piss all night and doss about all day bar typing up an invoice.

Another momentous landmark appeared yesterday, apart from being my first corporate gig, it was also the first time in my life I'd ever stepped foot inside a football stadium (Wembley Stadium not included as it's pretty much multi purpose and was kitted out for a gig at the time), the one in question being the Reebok Stadium, home of the Bolton Wanderers.

It's smaller than it looked from the outside.


Pownce


Web 2.0 is all the rage, and I'm registered on various Web 2.0 sites, Facebook, MySpaz, Digg and for a short while now Pownce.

Pownce is apparently like "Twitter on steroids", Twitter is basically the "Status Update" bit of Facebook, it's called 'micro-blogging'.

Now Twitter I've not touched, I update my status on FB a fair bit, from serious to ridiculous statements, and for actual blogging, well.. you're reading it, so I'm still a bit in the dark as to whether Pownce is filling a useful niche in my life, so the features, or the different things you can send:-

Messages:- As I said, like Twitter or the Status Updates on FB. I rarely use the status updates for any real serious application, more that I feel the need to change it on an ongoing basis. I can kinda see an advantage to this aspect of Pownce in that, you can use it seriously and targeted, whereas your status on Facebook simply crops up in the news feed to everyone of your friends. How does this apply? Not sure, it's not as immediate as an IM or text (SMS), is it more immediate than sending an email?? Hmm.

Links:- Looks pretty much like a message except it's got an http tag attached. There are times when you need to bung a link over to someone, I can do that on email, in a Facebook message (which are basically my two main forms of online communication now) or if the person's online in an IM. Hmm.

Events:- Facebook has an events section, allowing you to create an 'Event', say a gig or a party, send that event to your friends, who can then RSVP to said event online. Handy. There are various levels of privacy available, so if you're having a party at your house you can keep the Event hidden from the rest of Facebook, or if it's a gig, advertise it to the world, then, post event, people can upload pics, videos, discuss, all within the event's page. Cheers.
Pownce is a lot simpler, allowing you to simply post the event details publicly or to select friends. Quicker, so for a informal get together a lot less hassle, but for bigger events, more a reminder tool??? Hmm.

Files:- Pownce allows you to send files to other users, a standard account can send up to 10MB and a Pro account ($20/yr) can send up to 100MB files.
Now this for me could be the hidden gem, or not so hidden as the case may be. Email is the usual method for me to send a file over to someone, but a lot of email systems, especially company (corporate if you prefer) ones have poxy 2MB ceiling on their attachment sizes either in or out, not the best as I work in film/video/broadcast and files can be a tad bigger than that! And even some other email providers will start to quake under larger file sizes. Ok what about IMing the file? Well, MSN Messenger is what most people I currently know currently use and file transfer on that it bigshite, sending a sub 100k JPEG is painful enough at times! FTP? Yea there's FTP, I could upload the file to my web-space, send people a link to the file to download it, but then if I'm in a situation where I'm bunging files around, that'll probably rape my bandwidth, plus it's a bit of a hassle.
So the whole File side of Pownce is intriguing, send (potentially) up to 100Mb files, people either pick them up immediately (I think) or next time the log on and it's there.

There are other file options out there, which I've yet to fully explore, there's one called Tubes or something that sounded interesting, but at the time I looked was Windows only, cross platform is better thanks. Then there's the issue of my MySpz headline "How many sites does one man need?"

If you're on Pownce add me, plus if you actually know me I've still got my 6 invites if you wanna have a lookie.

http://www.pownce.com/MattGrover/

Just been pondering as i commented on the lack of British TV stuff in the iTS, as to what shows i'd actually buy (from wherever) from the store.

By the way, it seems the British offering currently consists of:

Genie In The House (Nickelodeon) - Disturbing kids tv offering
Jongleurs Unleashed (Paramount Comedy) - Stand-Up stuff
Comedy Blue (Paramount Comedy) - possibly British
The World Stands Up (P.... C....) - some Brits in it.

Oh yay.

Anyway...

What would I buy...

Lost
Battlestar Galactica (not gonna happen)
Heroes (nor this)
possibly The 4400 as I'm getting into that now.
also The Night Stalker sounds intriguing but dunno what it's like.
My Name Is Earl (dunno what network)
Jericho
Bionic Woman
- maybe, but again i think it's NBC and I'm not entirely sure if it's good yet.

Yes I am a geek.

Anything British if it were to appear?

Lead Balloon - Bloody good, but it's more of an impulse watch thing as are..
The IT Crowd, The Mighty Boosh, and other similar ones.

Dramas???

Wire in The Blood - but my girlfriend watches it as well, so I'm quite likely to see it broadcast, I have been tempted with the DVD's if I get them cheap enough.
There's nothing else that I can think of that I actually WANT to follow over "watch it if it's on".

There's no way I'd buy any sort of reality or "talent" show.

Well the BBC are ditching production on various dramas, I'm hoping we're gonna see a decent 16-24 episode series that can compete with the Yanks, I've a feeling it's gonna be more expensive one offs and 6 episode blips and maybe another Dr. Wo spin off :/

TV Shows in UK iTunes...

...finally!!!


But wait...yep as expected, no British ones. But then I don't watch Dr. Who anyway (c'mon, y'know that'd be the first in there, well if the BBC gets over itself with the whole charging thing and drops the cockPlayer).

So, is it worth it?? Well they seem to have arrived with less fanfare than they did in the States on their initial launch, maybe everything's being overshadowed somewhat by NBC/Universal's imminent departure from the store, but anyway...

I've been waiting for TV shows in the UK store ever since the original launch, my TV viewing habits have changed considerably over the past couple of years, moving away from the traditional schedule driven pattern and more towards a hip, funky on-demand lifestyle for my main programmes with my "traditional" style sitting down watching TV generally being more 'impulse' viewing if you will, sit down see what's on.

So being able to get the series I watch downloaded podcast stylee to my Mac, so that I can watch either at home or on the train to/from work is ideal.

Now of course that option is pretty much already available to me, should I wish to pursue it, albeit, it's not legal and involves file-sharing (BitTorrent has only ever worked once for me, it's shite, don't know what all the fuss is about...or I'm missing something), hoping the description matches the content and that the connection's good enough, oh did I mention it was illegal, thus not something I or anyone should do.

Do I want to wait a good decade for Heroes to reach BBC2? No. Do I have regular access to a Sky Box? Normally, no (I do at the moment but that's not the point).
Sky have done a pretty good job of securing deals with the Yanks to get Battlestar and Lost pretty quickly, the last series of Lost aired literally a few days after it did in the US, so props to them... if I had the option of Sky all the time that is.

So anyway, I'm very tempted to buy a season pass for the next season(s) of Lost and Battlestar (unless that dissappears with NBC which I have a feeling it will...wait it's not even there now!! DAMN!), so again is it worth it?

Well let's have a look..
All 3 seasons are currently listed at £32.99 on the UK iTunes Store, each are the full 23/24 episodes and are the (now) standard iTunes video res of 640x480 h.264, I'm not sure on the file size as I haven't bought an episode yet, i'd hazard a guess at around 350Mb tho, and I'm pretty sure 16:9 & widescreen aren't letterboxed as files.

Compared to a DVD box set, Lost Series 3 will retail at somewhere around £50, so iTunes is cheaper, but then you don't have them on a 'physical' media..get over it, no DVD extras, ok that's valid, I'm normally a geek for extras but for some reason I'm not that fussed about them for the shows I watch, whereas for a film DVD, it could be a deal breaker.

You don't have to wait half a year for the DVD to come out, true, but is that a worthwhile comparison? Kinda as regards the fact that I'm, paying for the episodes, but not kinda (?) as the download is instead of watching the broadcast.

Yeah? But what's the quality like??? According to Apple (for the movies at least) "Near DVD". Oh.

iTunes - 640x480 h.264 QT
DVD - 720x576 PAL MPEG-2

So DVD's are a higher picture quality, on both res and compression, HD?? Not fussed at the mo so we'll leave that one.

What's the alternative download option tho? Well, if you were on of those pirate people, there is the BitTorrent, File sharing option, how does iTunes compare to that?
Well there's a massive price difference for starters, that's assuming you're ok with breaking the law every week. The end product is essentially the same, a single episode each time, no extras, but the BT/FS options aren't encoded by the studios or Apple, they're done by some enterprising young scallywag somewhere over the pond, so surely the quality won't compare to pro stuff that you pay for from the store??

Well let's compare an episode of Lost series 3 (Greatest Hits). I previewed the episode, full screen, in the store and used the standard Mac screen cap for a few shots, then I opened up a DivX version that I'd been given to test with, played it full screen in Quicktime Player (Perian thankyou) and screen capped as best i could the same shots without being too anal about it.
Here's the stats for the DivX vid:






iTunes wouldn't give me the stats on their one :(








Now for the screen caps (iTunes on the left, DivX on the right and hopefully clicking on them will take you to the relevant page on my Flickr account)...

Picture 1Picture 5
Picture 2Picture 6
Picture 3Picture 7
Picture 4Picture 8

Now I don't think there's a lot in it, I think the iTunes one's a bit over saturated, but at first glance, it could be ok. BTW it may be worth noting that currently I'm either watching this stuff on my 19" CRT or my 13" MacBook, not a 40" HD LCD ;)

Anyway, I'm gonna ponder some more in a bit as I have to go out now, but would be interested in people's thoughts on this...

Geordie World

I've been using Microsoft Windows Vista for less than an hour, probably less than half an hour so far and it's already sucking my will to live.


My Ex-Wife has just got herself a new laptop to replace the one she had that got well and truly trashed. I'm not sure if this is a work issued one or not, it's got the Business Edition of Vista on there, but no Office or anything (hence why she came to me to get it set up with Office and AOL for her).

This is my first experience of Vista, my old PC still has XP Home SP2 on it, and that remains in the cupboard for most of the time as I'm pretty much a Mac person now, but try not to let your preconceptions of that get in the way, I still use Windows a fair bit as most offices are kitted out with XP based networks and I've been intrigued by Vista for a while.

There's a lot of posts online (that usually get flamed to shit by Windows Fanboys) that simply state "Vista Sucks", so far, I'd have to agree, since starting the laptop up and going through a few simple tasks it's been a horrible horrible experience;

StartUp - Took it's time (I didn't time it), then this Welcome to Windows type box appeared, well the box appeared then the contents followed a few minutes later all the while teasing me with a "Open this at startup" checkbox that wouldn't un-check until it had fully loaded.

IE7 - Now IE7 is a hell of a lot better than most previous versions, the button that views all of your open tabs in thumbnail, cheers and I've used it on several XP machines. However it took ages to load, changing the homepage was an overly laborious task, it's got Google and Norton toolbars (not IE's fault but it all adds up), it went "Not Responding" for a bit (as does pretty much everything in Vista it seems) and when I typed in a query into the live search field it took a good few seconds before actually bothering to look.

Control Panel - Took ages to load, I had to wait for the progress bar to fill up before it showed anything, then it was a new fangled 'user friendly categories' view, and when I told it to go to classic view THAT took ages as well even just to load the damn icons!!

A brief look around the folders - or not so brief as each one (documents, Photos, Music), with nothing in took a good few seconds to open and display the nothing in them.

Windows Update - No longer has a handy start menu shortcut (that I've seen), so through the slow control panel again, then before it can run it has to upgrade Windows Update, fair enough, yes please, screen goes dark, dialog appears saying Windows needs my permission, trackpad clicks before I've realised and it's installing shit, oh no password input then?....Control panel dissappears.....I wait a minute or so...is it done?... load Control Panel AGAIN, go to Windows Update, run it again, well it seems to be done, thanks for letting me know, XP was all about those damn speech bubbles, Vista's considerably more cagey, balance anyone?
31 updates (approx 60Mb), started at 13:08, it's now 13:33, it's still going.


So is this Vista's fault? Is Vista really that rubbish that it seems to be at the moment? Well that's clearly not the whole problem.

It's an HP laptop (Compaq nx7300), apparently it's running an Intel Celeron M processor (1.83GHz I think) and by the looks of it is kitted out with about 512Mb RAM, and Vista clearly doesn't like that, I'll be suggesting that she maxes the RAM in it as soon as poss (before madness sets in)

So the hardware is making it sluggish, is that the hardware's fault? Not entirely no, the system should be scaleable, you're gonna notice performance differences between systems obviously but it should be useable for Christ's sake! An the vendors should put an appropriate OS on their hardware, XP would probably be reasonably nippy on this laptop, Vista is a wheezing old man.

Aero - Fresh new Windows look, gone is the 'My First Computer' look of XP in is the 21st century snazz of the Vista desktop, get rid of "Start" in it's place the Windows flag, squash the windows control buttons, make the taskbar dark, change the colour of the windows. Transparency? I think I've already mentioned the performance issues here, plus I think you have to pay extra for that. 

13:52 Windows Update has finished and finally restarted, the clock now reads 04:52. Thanks. Change the TimeZone and we're back again. Oh and yay, I have a speech bubble telling me that updates were installed. Thanks.

Everything has a progress bar - Control Panel has one, Help has one, the cocking folders have one, what do you think that tells you about system performance, the fact that they coded a damn progress bar into the folder views!!!

Norton - Before you go off on one, I know it's not part of Windows, but this machine shipped with it and a shitload of others do. Back in the day (we're talking DOS 5 & 6 here) Norton kicked ass, Norton Commander, cheers! Now Norton sucks ass, I tried a Mac version once (thought about it to clear PC viruses off to save me inadvertently sending anything), it nearly killed my iBook, I took it off, cleaned up the mess and all was good. I used to have it on my PC, I took it off because the negative effects on performance were just ridiculous, and guarenteed this current HP laptop would benefit greatly from not having Norton-cocking-internet-safety-bollocks on it. Engage your windows firewall, don't click links in emails selling you Viagara, don't accept random attachments and steer clear of porn sites.

Another speech bubble asking me to "Help Make Windows Better", maybe Vista's chatty after all.

I'm supposed to be installing some AOL and Office software on here, if I'm honest, I'm a little concerned and not at all looking forward to that particular process. I'm typing this on my MacBook btw, mainly cos I was running Windows Update so just left it alone, also because I feel much better typing it on here (despite Safari 3's annoying little quirks)

OK, I need her AOL username/password to d/l the latest version and Office can wait. One final niggle (for now), clicking the big 'power button' in the start menu, doesn't shut the computer down, I think it hibernates it, maybe they should've had a sleeping bear icon instead.

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